Forgiveness

THE `R'S' OF FORGIVENESS

 

Sept.21,2008

From last week's reflections on the Scripture, we understand clearly that Jesus commands us to be forgiving—to have in our hearts a spirit of forgiveness. When we reflect on Jesus' own war against those who abused him and others, we also know that clearly we are called upon to resist evil, when we or others are the intended victims of that evil.

Jesus battles those who oppress people—he challenges us to fight both internal and external oppression. Think of the woman at the well, the Samaritans, the paralytic let down through the roof, Mary Magdalene, the Gerasene demoniac and Peter and the disciples.

When other people or when institutions seek to abuse us, we are called to resist. We are called to create barriers and boundaries to protect ourselves. Kingdom building is about creating some of those same kinds of systems of protection of vulnerable people. Nothing in Gospel or in common sense or in the US Constitution says people should allow others to abuse them. Of course, we are not called to hatred. But we are called to self defense.

A little over a year ago, a delegation from Elizabeth presbytery visited CEDEPCA in Guatemala City. CEDEPCA provides training in Bible, theology, pastoral care and church organizing for men and women throughout Guatemala. They are also highly committed to fighting the epidemic of domestic violence in Guatemala. Last year, over 500 women were killed by their husbands/partners. Cedepca operates one of the very few safe houses in the city.

Their roots are ecumenical, now embracing Catholics and Pentecostals as well as Presbyterians. There are in fact a substantial number of Presbyterians, divided into often competing sub denominations. The Guatemalan pastor who hosted us took our group of 14 up into the hills to visit a congregation made up of people who are all been evicted from a plantation for a labor action. On the way to this small church we passed two other Presbyterian churches. These terrible divisions create weakness. We gathered for pray and singing and testimonies with the members of the church in this marginalized resettled community. Proudly, they served fried bananas and then offered us a drink of mixed fruit juices and water. On behalf of the group, I explained that we couldn't drink it because we had stomach problems.

What are the problems in your community, we asked? Well, the water is bad and often people get diarrhea. Do the children sometimes die? Yes, one mother replied, two died last week. Her voice carried sadness and resignation. This community of God's beloved children faces then, the abuse of some individuals, like the plantation owner, as well as the oppression of larger systems of poverty and exploitation. Of course, then, we Christians are called to resist evil against God's children.

 

The focus of our reflections today will be on the process of our seeking forgiveness. The Prodigal son is the iconic parable of Jesus speaking to us about the mysteries of soul's journey away from God and then back home. I have long believed in the 4 R's of the forgiveness process—forgiveness requires Remorse, Repentance, Restitution and Restoration. So with those aspects of forgiveness in mind, on Monday a group of us looked again at the Prodigal Son story. I daresay we had all read it and heard it preached and studied it many times. But the glorious power of much of Scripture is that the Spirit so often unleashes new insights, new ways of seeing, when we hear the Word, listening together.

So we came to this phrase about the son, in his sate of misery, `coming to himself.' How did that happen—for him and perhaps then how does it happen for us. Well, of course, he is in a desperate situation—but he is also reflecting back on his past, on his father and the way the father ran the farm and probably the way the father treated even his servants. He sees his father with new eyes.

Now the cynic in us maybe just says he needs some money. But the parable points to a new awareness of who the father is in relation both to the servants and potentially again to the prodigal. The son remembers his story. And remembering in the context of his present desperation, he Reframes. Now I know that is a 21^st century word, but it describes the prodigal's experience. He sees his father and himself potentially in a whole new way. Remembering has offered the possibility of reframing.

Remember the Emmaus road story—and` their eyes were opened and they recognized him'. The gospel is about our seeing others and ourselves in a new light, the light of the Spirit. Seeing with new eyes. Remember that folk gospel song about putting your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee—it included lines that said you can look at yourself and look at others differently, when you put your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee. To say that Jesus is Lord and Savior is to say that we believe that is not only possible—but it is our promise.

But now the going gets really rough. When the going gets tough, the tough use duct tape. Now is the time for Remorse—this is not that wimpy I'm sorry that we sometimes offer up and that others use to try to placate us. No, Remorse is closer to the Biblical image is of repenting in sackcloth and ashes. This is that deep painful knowledge of how much we have wounded someone and of course, the pain is particularly profound when we wound someone we love deeply.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked her with a tremor in his voice, `Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?' The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. `I can't dear, 'she said, I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice, `the big sissy'.

We are all big sissies when it comes to remorse and then the long journey of repentance. Repentance means turning around, going a different direction and that is what the son must do, in order to get back home. Let us hope that he feels sadness far more than shame—so for us too. On our lonely journey of repentance may God grant us and may we accept the pain of sadness for our past, rather than be infected with shame.

In the 12 Step movement, one of the steps involves restitution. Those making truth filled and sincere repentance are called upon to offer apology, a gift, some sign of sincerity to those they have harmed when appropriate.

In looking at the issue of Restitution, we can turn to the glorious story of Zacchaeus. He is a tax collector in a system of exploitation—he can skim the profits for himself and become rich. Beyond that, those taxes pay for the Roman legions that keep Israel in bondage. He is using the global economic system for his own benefit—if people die on the fringes, up in the hills of Judah or of Guatemala or Lebanon or Zambia, well, I Zacchaeus didn't do anything wrong--directly. But then he meets Jesus and his world is turned upside down. I will make restitution, says Zacchaeus. What does making restitution look like for us??

Often no restitution is possible. Humpty dumpty sat on a wall and humpty dumpty had a great fall and all the kings' horse and all the kings' men couldn't put humpty dumpty back together again. We can't undo what we have done—some things, some relations, some hearts, some bodies are broken. We can only hope and pray and work to put them back together—a little bit, more or less. But we can seek to make restitution.

Now, we come to glory. The father with joyful abandon and almost shocking generosity welcomes the son home and creates a party in his honor. Restoration. So too with Zacchaeus. Jesus says let's have a meal together. Radical hospitality —Jesus going into to eat with a tax collector and sinner. We too are invited again and again to come home to the table—to take our body/soul journey through the R's of forgiveness. We travel from Remembering to Reframing to Remorse to Repentance and then Restitution and finally joyful bountiful overflowing Restoration.

 

Brooks Smith