At the end of Brothers Karamazov, Alyosha seeks to rally a group of boys whose cruelty has led to a child's death. He speaks to them and he speaks to us about cherishing those precious childhood memories of joy, love and happiness. The word is true. Alyosha has left the monastery at his spiritual father's urging to find his way and his soul in the world. He is in his early twenties at the end of the novel. So maybe it is particularly true for us in our early twenties as we launch off from the shores of our biological and spiritual parents that happy memories will sustain us.
But when we are in our forties or sixties or eighties, we need new and varied sources of sustenance. In midlife, I faced a time of significant depression. I didn't seek professional therapy and wasn't on medication. My wife helped me where she could. But sometimes I shut her out. I drank more than was good for me. Several friends provided some buoyancy as I felt my psyche tossed around by violent waves.
One morning, I was journaling in response to the question--what helps me fight off the depression and find happiness. Happy childhood memories were not enough.
Then and now, I believe that four primary areas of life bless me and strengthen me and lift up my heart.
I.Sexual love brings joy and gratitude and connection with the creation of life.
II.Sports,especially basketball,for me cleanses my body and soothes my soul.
III.Spirit and the soul's journey into God challenges me and you--there is a way home.
IV.Success. The demon of depression wanted to obliterate those places in my life where good things were happening and where blessings were flowing and the fight for justice was occasionally being won.
To do battle with the enemy both outside us and within us, we need more than happy memories from childhood.
Links for Dostoyevksy
http//www.dartmouth.edu/~karamazov
http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fyodor_Dostoevsky
1 comment:
someone told me the other day while watching a dvd of a poetry performance of mine that they liked my style because i was at the same time intimate and detached...still thinking about that...to be detached...when does it help us? when does it hurt?
to express is to be vulnerable...is that the ideal? the true path of inner strength...to be more like all of gods other creations...seems like all other creatures know about their vulnerablity except those creatures detached...i appreciate your openess...especially us males need more.
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